I have been absent for some time. Call it what you will…..too busy. Lack of focus. Life got in the way. All possible acceptable reasons for not blogging. For me, it is lack of effort. One of my weaknesses in life. I lack effort. Or as I call it “I am lame”. I have lots of potential. I never reach it. I know where I stand. I understand what I do and where I end up. But I never have the ability to fix my “lameness”. It is NEVER that I want to be lame or not do things I find necessary to find personal fulfillment. Something is missing that I can never pinpoint nor fix. It is hard to accept cause I do demand things from myself. Like not being lame!
So, I have not posted in some time. I have NOT run in over 3 weeks. My last run was a strong 8 mile run at a moderate pace. The day after I saw an orthopedist about my foot and the diagnosis…..I have plantar fasciitis. My heel hurt after a run on May 25th. I thought that my shoes had reached their mileage limit. The shoes were at approximately 300 miles at that point. So I purchased a new pair and kept running. The pain was nothing overbearing. Just bothersome. And a week before my 8 mile I ran a 10k at a strong race pace. And the day after it hurt. At that point the foot pain became a pain in the rear. I was pretty sure it was PF from my internet searches. So that brought me to the aforementioned Dr.
That was three weeks ago. I start training for the Toughest 10k in Galveston tomorrow. That run is on October 18th. These three weeks have brought lots of thought about where I am as a runner. The overall consenses I have reached is I am an underachiever. LAME. Talented? Yes. I run fast. I have “potential”. I can reach goals I have set for myself. Though some have shrugged when I say what I believe I can run cause of my age. That gives me more reason to reach. However, I have to fight through something within me to really put out EFFORT. To work hard. Have I not worked hard from that very first run on January 6th to now? No…I have worked pretty hard. And I am somewhat proud of where I am and what I have done. I can do so much more. Looking at the effort I see so many do daily has shown me I am way behind in effort. And I am cheating myself and those who support my running. And that is sad. There is nothing more maddening than seeing someone who has talent and not push it to the maximum. That has always pisses me off. In these three weeks I realize I am that guy. I have the fast gene. I know there are lots of people out there would love to have the paces I can put up with only 8 months of running under my belt. I am cheating myself and those who support me.
I need to change. I need to challenge myself more. I need to be patient. I need to put out EFFORT daily. Not just race day but EVERY day. I need to do those BORING stretches. I need to do that pain in the ass core strength work outs. Speed work I LOVE so that is in my favor. I need to put out max effort each and every day.
If I learned anything in these three weeks of not running is that I do LOVE running. I do love pushing myself on race day. I do love seeing that time improve from race to race. But what I also learned is that I am cheating myself. And in the way that I have always complained about others who have talent that I wish I had.
I have to somehow change. Starting today.
Till we meet again. Good Day.