I lost a friend last week that I have known since second grade. A good friend. Hard working….fun….life of the party. He was only 51. His passing was expected. But yet still hard to comprehend much less digest. Here is a little post I wrote for a running group I am part of. Reflects my current state of mind.
I probably shouldn’t post this but I am. This is probably not the right platform for such thought. I find myself in a very odd mood the last couple of weeks. I have always a thinker and a dreamer…..and losing a great friend at such a young age has me thinking about my own mortality and regrets. Quite honestly I am angry. My friend suffered for a long time. He was diagnosed with MS 17 yrs ago…spent the last 8 in a nursing home. The last two of those unable to speak and to even sit up. He leaves behind two kids….19 and 17. I don’t know the kids but I know their pain. I lost my father at 18. I know all the holidays with him not around to share. The wedding….your kids being born and subsequently growing up. All without a father to share those happy times with. And no father to call for advice when times are tough. Sure…my friend’s body is no longer a hostage to MS. He can now fly…free from suffering. As is always stated in times like this…he is in a better place. While that may be true, I feel the better place is here on earth, healthy, living a “normal” life watching his kids grow into adulthood.
Running is an odd thing for me. I don’t know why I have grown attached to the sport so quickly. Perhaps it is the “what ifs” I associate with it. Could I have run in the sub 6 minute range as a 21 yr old with proper training and knowledge? Could have I received a scholarship outta high school had I known I had this ability? Am I totally wrong about all of this and none of this couldn’t have happened cause it didn’t happen? All things I have pondered the last week.
Running has done wonderful things for me in the brief time I have been at it. In an odd way it has given me a purpose I suppose. But I now understand 2015 a little better. I need to enjoy this activity. Enjoy each step whether it is progress or not. Professional triathlete Andy Potts has a mantra each year. So I am doing the same for 2016. And it is a simple one…..ENJOY each step. Fast. Slow. Healthy. Injured. Depressed. Happy. Just enjoy. Cause I am lucky to have the ability to run and all the positives and challenges that come with it.
Sorry I rambled here. Suppose it was needed. This is all I will say about this topic. I knew this time was coming for a long time but I was still not prepared. I MISS my friend. It’s just that simple.
Till we meet again. Shoo Runs